What a whirlwind my life has been since my last day on D.O.O.L. It's already been four months (can you believe it?) and I feel like it was just yesterday that I was filming my final scenes.
I know I've been quiet lately, mainly because of how busy I've been with my upcoming projects, but I've finally found a moment to catch you up on what I've been up to since I left "chelsea" behind.
As I'm sure most of you have heard, in early June I was to cast to play the character Annie on NBC's "Heroes". While I can't give away storyline, I can tell you that Annie is introduced as Claire's college roomate on the season four premire, which I believe will air sometime in early-mid September. My experience on this set has been an extremely positive one. The "Heroes" cast and crew are remarkably fun, and I was excited to transition back into the world of primetime television. I can't believe how much different it is than working on a soap- I almost forgot! I really hope you guys enjoy watching this character as much as I enjoyed portraying her. She is so different than Chelsea, as well as most of the other characters I've been fortunate enough to play. She's definitely one of a kind and in my opinion, quite funny. So stayed tuned for the season premire, and I will keep you posted as to the exact air date once it becomes available.
I'm also really excited to share with you news of my most recent project, which I'll begin filming later this month in Victora, BC. I play a vampy, Gossip Girl-esque teen, bored with life, willing to test the boundaries and flirt with danger, no matter the consequences. I'm very excited about this project and can't wait to start filming. As for actual project information including its' title...well, I'll stay mysterious for now. :)
Going back to the world of soaps for a brief moment, I had my fitting for my emmy dress today, which I am very excited to hop into come awards ceremony time. It's absolutely gorgeous! It's designed by Randolph Duke, a very talented individual, who's work I can't wait to show off on August 30th! So far, everything pertaining to the Emmys is going smoothy, I'll even be lucky enough to take a break from filming to return to LA for the evening. (Hopefully to witness a few wins on the DOOL front).
In regards to my personal life, Murphy and I are still overly content in our relatively new apartment, I'm still happily dating the Handsome Man, as I commonly refer to him, and I'm enjoying my downtime finding new things to do to keep me out of this summer heat!
Hope everyone is well, and once again, thanks for all your support :)
All the best,
Rachel
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Frame of mind, state of mind
There are three things I loathe about summer and it's warm weather: 1. bees 2. allergies, and 3. The central air that my new apartment lacks...
I assumed being from Arizona I'd be fine without the use of an air conditioning system, but it seems I've highly over rated my tolerance for heat. Of course in my defense, I forgot about a little thing people refer to as humidity. In Arizona we don't quite grasp the definition of water nor do we fully comprehend what it is, not to mention a product of it like humidity. Humidity? What is that anyway? Oh! That's the hot WET blanket I feel I'm being suffocated under! Oh well, at least it's finally warm enough to wear those shorts and tanks that have otherwise been acting as interior decor for my closet rather than fashionistic art for my body to display. I'm one of those people who would so much rather be hot than cold. My mother and I always used to love summers in Arizona because you'd go into a freezing cold restaraunt and the minute you stepped outside after dinner, you'd be instantly warm. It's the coolest feeling. Not to mention warm rain during monsoon season, or cruising with the convertible down without having to blast the heater at the same time. Things I find somewhat hard to enjoy in California. So I'm not going to complain about this horrendous heat wave holding hands with this moisture of death in the air they call humidity. Nope, I'm not complaining in the least! Oh but at least I'm no longer in the valley where it's easily five degrees warmer...
So I moved....AGAIN. But I'm hoping it'll be the last time for a while. I have a great apartment (minus the lack of air), in the center of everything in Los Angeles, and I'm enjoying the fact that I rarely have to get inside my vehicle to go anywhere-thus saving me roughly four hour trips to the grocery store, gas station, what have you, that it normally takes waiting in traffic. Not to mention the money I save in gas. It's glorious! I can walk to a post office, a market, a dry cleaners, a groomer for my dog, a bank, the park, an urban outfitters (heaven forbid)...I never have to drive again!
One of the reasons I'm so in love with New York City is that you can walk everywhere or take a cab or ride the subway. Basically, you're not confined to yourself in a car, closed off from the world and social interaction. In Los Angeles, we're in our cars so often, for such long periods of time, that it seems we almost lose a little bit of our social skills. I can't explain it, but if you're caught up in the hustle and bustle here, you totally know what I'm talking about...UNLESS you live in my new neighborhood. As mentioned, I can walk anywhere, therefore, so can my neighbors. You run into people ALL THE TIME! Just walking my dog the first night I met like three of my neighbors, and now I see them everywhere. At the market, the dog park, the post office. It's so incredibly easy to meet people, hold a conversation, and make friends. I feel like I've moved to a different continent, not just ten miles from my old place. It's amazing how much your life can change when you simply like where you live. As they say, location, location, location!
In addition to changing my residence, I have officially unofficially been done with Days for almost a month, though my official last day will be when I film an additional two episodes I was asked to stay for at the beginning of May. But I've still looked at my life as being unemployed and trying to adapt to the abnormality of a consistent repetitive schedule. I have an abundent amount of time on my hands, and while at first this made me uncomfortable, I've learned to value the leisurely time I have that could suddenly be taken from me with the next job. The entertainment business is so hurried and rushed, but also long and tedious. You have to learn to balance yourself so you don't get bored, or burnt out. So I'm sure you've been wondering what I've been up to. Well moving, for one. I've taken it upon myself to make this apartment the best I've ever lived in, so I'm taking on different projects around the house, decorating here and there, and getting ready to have an amazing house warming party once I've done so. I'm still taking dance classes, I've started voice lessons, and I'm embellishing in my painting again which has regretabley been forced to rest on the back burner for far too long. I'm spending more time with Murphy, and with the passing of pilot season, I'm using the down time within the industry to get new headshots, and begin writing again.
Things are going very well for me I'd have to say. After a few months of anxiously waiting to move, I've finally done so, and life couldn't be better. I guess what I've learned is that in life, you'll always have to wait for something. But without the waiting, we couldn't fully appreciate or enjoy all we obtain once we finally do. And to further prove this theory, there is one other little update in my life.
Remember when I complained about how hard it is to meet a person you could potentially like enough to date in Los Angeles? And how going to clubs is just an awful experience with unfavorable odds of producing the results you're hoping for? Well, you might recall that I also mentioned how every now and then some other person like yourself, who doesn't quite belong there or even desire to be, will be dragged against their will to go to a club anyway? Well, I guess if you keep putting yourself out there, you're only going to increase the odds of this happening. And it finally will.
I know I touch upon the struggles of life as well as it's complexity and illogicality, in order to connect to you all and relate to very relateable topics. But I also feel it's important to touch upon the positive ones when they occur, in order to instill hope in a society where I feel that hope is in constant jeopardy of dwindling.
This might sound bad, but I'm speaking from experience, and I believe experience should be shared because I want to make a difference. As cliche and silly as this could sound, a few months ago, in celebration of the movie, I read "He's just not that into you." Whenever I tell this to people they roll their eyes, but here's the thing: the message to walk away from that book with is not that "he's just not that into you," it's that you should be into yourself. I think that if more women had higher standards for guys that comes with greater respect for themselves and what they TRUELY deserve, guys would be forced to change the way they approach women and dating today, and we'd see a better breed of men...sorry guys, but a lot of the ones I've been running into lately kinda give you a bad name.
If you look back to the early days, like when my grandma was a teenager or young adult, she would always tell me that the guy was always chasing after the girl. Treating her like a princess, doing whatever it took to win her over. Girls were essentially a reward that men would jump hurdles, move mountains, and go great distances to earn and receive. Women didn't change in order for men to like them. They didn't let their insecurities show or waiver in what they believed they so rightfully deserved. They didn't call the guy or wait around for the guys to make a move. They had the mentality of the "He's just not that into you" book. They were ladies, and they deserved to be treated as one. And if the guy didn't want to fulfill the rightful duty of a man, well then a. you didn't deserve to be with her, and b. she'd find someone who did and who would
So, why should today be any different? It shouldn't. Girls have allowed that kind of chivalry to dissipate, I myself have been guilty of it, but I'm putting an end to it right now. How awesome would it be if more girls did the same? It would make dating so much more simplistic, enjoyable, and rewarding. Demand more respect for and from yourself, and wait for as long as it takes until you get it. Now, I know that's easier said than done, but as I mentioned, the waiting is what makes us smarter and more appreciative once we finally get what we've been looking for.
Sorry, I'll get off my pedalstool now. I just felt I owed it to the world to share this thought process, because after meeting a REALLY good guy, who reminds me of what dating SHOULD be and should have ALWAYS been, it makes me sick to think I ever settled for anything less. I wouldn't want you to waste precious time making the same mistake so many girls and women already so frequently do.
My point is: whatever it is, it's worth the wait. That being said, I hope this blog proved to be also, and I apologize for the delay.
Oh and I feel it necessary to mention briefly and officially, I do not, nor have I ever had or personally operated a myspace page. Regarding facebook, I have one personal page I reserve for close family and friends and hope you can be understanding to the fact that I limit it's use to only those individuals. It does not come up in any search per my privacy settings, therefore any and all other myspace or facebook pages claiming to be me are imposters. I apologize for any text that was harmful, mean spirited, or falsesly represented as myself. It has come to my attention that I needed to address this topic, and I hope that this clears up any misunderstanding.
Until next time!
I assumed being from Arizona I'd be fine without the use of an air conditioning system, but it seems I've highly over rated my tolerance for heat. Of course in my defense, I forgot about a little thing people refer to as humidity. In Arizona we don't quite grasp the definition of water nor do we fully comprehend what it is, not to mention a product of it like humidity. Humidity? What is that anyway? Oh! That's the hot WET blanket I feel I'm being suffocated under! Oh well, at least it's finally warm enough to wear those shorts and tanks that have otherwise been acting as interior decor for my closet rather than fashionistic art for my body to display. I'm one of those people who would so much rather be hot than cold. My mother and I always used to love summers in Arizona because you'd go into a freezing cold restaraunt and the minute you stepped outside after dinner, you'd be instantly warm. It's the coolest feeling. Not to mention warm rain during monsoon season, or cruising with the convertible down without having to blast the heater at the same time. Things I find somewhat hard to enjoy in California. So I'm not going to complain about this horrendous heat wave holding hands with this moisture of death in the air they call humidity. Nope, I'm not complaining in the least! Oh but at least I'm no longer in the valley where it's easily five degrees warmer...
So I moved....AGAIN. But I'm hoping it'll be the last time for a while. I have a great apartment (minus the lack of air), in the center of everything in Los Angeles, and I'm enjoying the fact that I rarely have to get inside my vehicle to go anywhere-thus saving me roughly four hour trips to the grocery store, gas station, what have you, that it normally takes waiting in traffic. Not to mention the money I save in gas. It's glorious! I can walk to a post office, a market, a dry cleaners, a groomer for my dog, a bank, the park, an urban outfitters (heaven forbid)...I never have to drive again!
One of the reasons I'm so in love with New York City is that you can walk everywhere or take a cab or ride the subway. Basically, you're not confined to yourself in a car, closed off from the world and social interaction. In Los Angeles, we're in our cars so often, for such long periods of time, that it seems we almost lose a little bit of our social skills. I can't explain it, but if you're caught up in the hustle and bustle here, you totally know what I'm talking about...UNLESS you live in my new neighborhood. As mentioned, I can walk anywhere, therefore, so can my neighbors. You run into people ALL THE TIME! Just walking my dog the first night I met like three of my neighbors, and now I see them everywhere. At the market, the dog park, the post office. It's so incredibly easy to meet people, hold a conversation, and make friends. I feel like I've moved to a different continent, not just ten miles from my old place. It's amazing how much your life can change when you simply like where you live. As they say, location, location, location!
In addition to changing my residence, I have officially unofficially been done with Days for almost a month, though my official last day will be when I film an additional two episodes I was asked to stay for at the beginning of May. But I've still looked at my life as being unemployed and trying to adapt to the abnormality of a consistent repetitive schedule. I have an abundent amount of time on my hands, and while at first this made me uncomfortable, I've learned to value the leisurely time I have that could suddenly be taken from me with the next job. The entertainment business is so hurried and rushed, but also long and tedious. You have to learn to balance yourself so you don't get bored, or burnt out. So I'm sure you've been wondering what I've been up to. Well moving, for one. I've taken it upon myself to make this apartment the best I've ever lived in, so I'm taking on different projects around the house, decorating here and there, and getting ready to have an amazing house warming party once I've done so. I'm still taking dance classes, I've started voice lessons, and I'm embellishing in my painting again which has regretabley been forced to rest on the back burner for far too long. I'm spending more time with Murphy, and with the passing of pilot season, I'm using the down time within the industry to get new headshots, and begin writing again.
Things are going very well for me I'd have to say. After a few months of anxiously waiting to move, I've finally done so, and life couldn't be better. I guess what I've learned is that in life, you'll always have to wait for something. But without the waiting, we couldn't fully appreciate or enjoy all we obtain once we finally do. And to further prove this theory, there is one other little update in my life.
Remember when I complained about how hard it is to meet a person you could potentially like enough to date in Los Angeles? And how going to clubs is just an awful experience with unfavorable odds of producing the results you're hoping for? Well, you might recall that I also mentioned how every now and then some other person like yourself, who doesn't quite belong there or even desire to be, will be dragged against their will to go to a club anyway? Well, I guess if you keep putting yourself out there, you're only going to increase the odds of this happening. And it finally will.
I know I touch upon the struggles of life as well as it's complexity and illogicality, in order to connect to you all and relate to very relateable topics. But I also feel it's important to touch upon the positive ones when they occur, in order to instill hope in a society where I feel that hope is in constant jeopardy of dwindling.
This might sound bad, but I'm speaking from experience, and I believe experience should be shared because I want to make a difference. As cliche and silly as this could sound, a few months ago, in celebration of the movie, I read "He's just not that into you." Whenever I tell this to people they roll their eyes, but here's the thing: the message to walk away from that book with is not that "he's just not that into you," it's that you should be into yourself. I think that if more women had higher standards for guys that comes with greater respect for themselves and what they TRUELY deserve, guys would be forced to change the way they approach women and dating today, and we'd see a better breed of men...sorry guys, but a lot of the ones I've been running into lately kinda give you a bad name.
If you look back to the early days, like when my grandma was a teenager or young adult, she would always tell me that the guy was always chasing after the girl. Treating her like a princess, doing whatever it took to win her over. Girls were essentially a reward that men would jump hurdles, move mountains, and go great distances to earn and receive. Women didn't change in order for men to like them. They didn't let their insecurities show or waiver in what they believed they so rightfully deserved. They didn't call the guy or wait around for the guys to make a move. They had the mentality of the "He's just not that into you" book. They were ladies, and they deserved to be treated as one. And if the guy didn't want to fulfill the rightful duty of a man, well then a. you didn't deserve to be with her, and b. she'd find someone who did and who would
So, why should today be any different? It shouldn't. Girls have allowed that kind of chivalry to dissipate, I myself have been guilty of it, but I'm putting an end to it right now. How awesome would it be if more girls did the same? It would make dating so much more simplistic, enjoyable, and rewarding. Demand more respect for and from yourself, and wait for as long as it takes until you get it. Now, I know that's easier said than done, but as I mentioned, the waiting is what makes us smarter and more appreciative once we finally get what we've been looking for.
Sorry, I'll get off my pedalstool now. I just felt I owed it to the world to share this thought process, because after meeting a REALLY good guy, who reminds me of what dating SHOULD be and should have ALWAYS been, it makes me sick to think I ever settled for anything less. I wouldn't want you to waste precious time making the same mistake so many girls and women already so frequently do.
My point is: whatever it is, it's worth the wait. That being said, I hope this blog proved to be also, and I apologize for the delay.
Oh and I feel it necessary to mention briefly and officially, I do not, nor have I ever had or personally operated a myspace page. Regarding facebook, I have one personal page I reserve for close family and friends and hope you can be understanding to the fact that I limit it's use to only those individuals. It does not come up in any search per my privacy settings, therefore any and all other myspace or facebook pages claiming to be me are imposters. I apologize for any text that was harmful, mean spirited, or falsesly represented as myself. It has come to my attention that I needed to address this topic, and I hope that this clears up any misunderstanding.
Until next time!
Friday, February 20, 2009
'Waitin' On "My" World to Change'
You can spend so many hours, days, weeks, even months of your life waiting for something to happen. Do you ever realize how much time you literally spend just waiting? For a red light to turn green, for the phone to ring with good news, for the woman's line to move in the bathroom at the end of the movie... for the winter to end just so you can actually reap the benefits of shaving your legs, for more than just a day. If I could keep track of all the minutes I spent doing any of those things, in addition to the minutes spent waiting for the automated service to connect me to an actual human being at the cable company- I figure I could safely have AT LEAST a month of my life back.
Currently, I am waiting for my entire life to change. Waiting for the next job, waiting to find my new apartment and to move, waiting for my hair to grow out so I can be more marketable...I literally feel like my life is unable to obtain any bit of progression because I have to wait for all the little pieces of my life to fall into place, before I can actually form the puzzle and start enjoying the picture.
They say that good things come to those who wait. But they also say that God only helps those who help themsleves. So I am to believe that if I wait while still being active in my goals, I will be blessed with the best of what I deserve. But I find it so hard to be active in pushing these things along when they are so out of my control. I can't force apartment managers to call me back when I call in reference to a property. I can't force casting directors to give me a job. As far as I'm concerned I'm doing what I can in my part. I'm making the effort, and I'm giving it my all. And in turn, I'm sitting at home- waiting for the phone to ring with good news. It gets so exhusting and often times disappointing when there is no news at all. And if no news really WAS good news-as they say, then why am I having such a hard finding the good?
(Exhale) I just felt the need to get out my neurosis regarding the waiting game-as I call it. I'm trying hard to be patient, but I'm proactive. I'm driven. I make things happen, and leaving it up to someone else to do it for me, has never been a responsibility I've been willingly able to hand over.
So I wait....
Currently, I am waiting for my entire life to change. Waiting for the next job, waiting to find my new apartment and to move, waiting for my hair to grow out so I can be more marketable...I literally feel like my life is unable to obtain any bit of progression because I have to wait for all the little pieces of my life to fall into place, before I can actually form the puzzle and start enjoying the picture.
They say that good things come to those who wait. But they also say that God only helps those who help themsleves. So I am to believe that if I wait while still being active in my goals, I will be blessed with the best of what I deserve. But I find it so hard to be active in pushing these things along when they are so out of my control. I can't force apartment managers to call me back when I call in reference to a property. I can't force casting directors to give me a job. As far as I'm concerned I'm doing what I can in my part. I'm making the effort, and I'm giving it my all. And in turn, I'm sitting at home- waiting for the phone to ring with good news. It gets so exhusting and often times disappointing when there is no news at all. And if no news really WAS good news-as they say, then why am I having such a hard finding the good?
(Exhale) I just felt the need to get out my neurosis regarding the waiting game-as I call it. I'm trying hard to be patient, but I'm proactive. I'm driven. I make things happen, and leaving it up to someone else to do it for me, has never been a responsibility I've been willingly able to hand over.
So I wait....
Thursday, February 12, 2009
On record
As I'm sure you all know by now, I have decided to depart Days.
I have been with Days of Our Lives for the past four years of my life. I have nothing but gratitude and appreciation for the opportunity Ken Corday has given me, and for the growth and education I have obtained from such a hard working group of people. At this juncture in my life however, I feel I've accomplished and learned all I could have from Days, and it's just time to experience new things. I shared this insight and reasoning with Ken Corday, who was most understanding and supportive. I truely felt he was genuine in all the wonderful things he had to share with me, and I'm very grateful not only for the opportunity on the show, but for his blessing on other opportunities that might lie ahead for me. I will always credit Ken and Days for molding me into the actress I am. When I first came to the show I was terrible- there I said it- but they saw something in me, something I didn't even see in myself, and gave me a chance. Out of that chance I got recognition, amazing friends, personal growth, and even walked away with an emmy nomination. If you had asked me four years ago what I expected from life and my career, I never would have guessed any of what I actually received. It's been a rush, a whirlwind, a crash course, and at times even a rude awakening, but above anything else it's been magical. (I realize how lame that sounds, but I'm literally racking my brain for some word to describe it, and that word is absolutely fitting).
Now all that being said, I have to admit that I'm kind of disappointed in some of the rumors I've been hearing in regards to my decision to leave. People have gone so far as to speculate that I'm leaving because I "wasn't getting my way" with storylines, or that I was "disappointed with the way the show was going". I find it funny that people assume they know the rationale of someone they don't even know, in regards to information they know even less about. Unless you're in the business, it's truely hard to understand. Therefore, I wanted to take this time to explain.
My leaving has nothing to do with being disappointed by storylines. For some reason, people think I favored the "Dansea" storyline, and have pinpointed that my decision to leave, was primarily based on the writers' decision to abandon that storyline. First of all, I would never quit a job based on such an immature and unprofessional reason as 'not getting my way'....The problem with the internet and blogging is that especially when people don't know you personally, it's hard to decipher one's demeanor, SENSE OF HUMOR, or implications. So allow me to clarify: When I write or blog my opinions regarding my characters' storyline, I voice my opinion as an actor- the way I see my character reacting or thinking based on their psychology or influence of circumstance. It is voiced purely artistically without personal emotions altering any aspect of it. To imply I would do anything but, is really offensive to my professionalism and my personal character. At the end of the day, of course I will always do what is asked of me without hesitation or agruement, that goes without saying, but I also feel that I have a right to voice my creative input as it's portrayer, as do you the viewer.
Secondly, I understand our show has had to sacrifice many things and has been forced to take tremendous amounts of cutbacks, which have greatly altered the way we operate. But to clear the air about the other rumor, my leaving has nothing to do with the current status of the show or my current limited amount of airtime. I realize people are disappointed in some decisions that are being made, but I beg you to look at it as I do: I am not in Ken or Gary Tomlin's shoes right now, understanding the pressures, demands, or logistics of our show and its' current budget. I know at times it can be frustrating to adapt to storylines you can't get into you, or see characters you love depart, but everything comes in ebs and flows. Just understand that everyone is doing their best and no one wants to see the show suffer in any way, nor do they want to "sabotage" it. It's hard to please everyone, and right now they are doing their best given all the variables and obstacles they've been thrown. It's also important to remember, not every character you love can be on air all the time. We still have a large cast in comparison to a lot of other shows, and its hard to work everyone equally all the time. Actors also go through ebbs and flows, hell- we need to rest every now and then too. I had for the most part, four full years of heavy, steady working on this show, and I feel as though I'm one of the lucky few who get to say that.
Anyway, there is one last thing I want to add in this post and it's to my fans at curemytragedy.com: I received the birthday gift you sent to me today and I have to say, I was speechless. It was way beyond sweet and generous, and... I cried-I'm such a girl! It's just sometimes you forget that there are still good people out there, showing random acts of kindness, even to complete strangers. It's hard to remember that when at times this world can seem so dark and lonely. Thank you all so much, and please look for a more formal thank you in an upcoming issue of Digest.
Also, thank you to the other amazing fans who individually sent birthday gifts to me at the studio as well. I did receive them, and they are all so special to me. You have no idea. In the upcoming weeks, once I get a break, I will be working on a formal thank you for you also.
It's been such a pleasure entertaining you all for these last four years. As of now I don't know when I'll be shooting my last episode, but I will definitely keep you posted. And I can promise there will be much more of me to come in my future endeavors.
Rachel
I have been with Days of Our Lives for the past four years of my life. I have nothing but gratitude and appreciation for the opportunity Ken Corday has given me, and for the growth and education I have obtained from such a hard working group of people. At this juncture in my life however, I feel I've accomplished and learned all I could have from Days, and it's just time to experience new things. I shared this insight and reasoning with Ken Corday, who was most understanding and supportive. I truely felt he was genuine in all the wonderful things he had to share with me, and I'm very grateful not only for the opportunity on the show, but for his blessing on other opportunities that might lie ahead for me. I will always credit Ken and Days for molding me into the actress I am. When I first came to the show I was terrible- there I said it- but they saw something in me, something I didn't even see in myself, and gave me a chance. Out of that chance I got recognition, amazing friends, personal growth, and even walked away with an emmy nomination. If you had asked me four years ago what I expected from life and my career, I never would have guessed any of what I actually received. It's been a rush, a whirlwind, a crash course, and at times even a rude awakening, but above anything else it's been magical. (I realize how lame that sounds, but I'm literally racking my brain for some word to describe it, and that word is absolutely fitting).
Now all that being said, I have to admit that I'm kind of disappointed in some of the rumors I've been hearing in regards to my decision to leave. People have gone so far as to speculate that I'm leaving because I "wasn't getting my way" with storylines, or that I was "disappointed with the way the show was going". I find it funny that people assume they know the rationale of someone they don't even know, in regards to information they know even less about. Unless you're in the business, it's truely hard to understand. Therefore, I wanted to take this time to explain.
My leaving has nothing to do with being disappointed by storylines. For some reason, people think I favored the "Dansea" storyline, and have pinpointed that my decision to leave, was primarily based on the writers' decision to abandon that storyline. First of all, I would never quit a job based on such an immature and unprofessional reason as 'not getting my way'....The problem with the internet and blogging is that especially when people don't know you personally, it's hard to decipher one's demeanor, SENSE OF HUMOR, or implications. So allow me to clarify: When I write or blog my opinions regarding my characters' storyline, I voice my opinion as an actor- the way I see my character reacting or thinking based on their psychology or influence of circumstance. It is voiced purely artistically without personal emotions altering any aspect of it. To imply I would do anything but, is really offensive to my professionalism and my personal character. At the end of the day, of course I will always do what is asked of me without hesitation or agruement, that goes without saying, but I also feel that I have a right to voice my creative input as it's portrayer, as do you the viewer.
Secondly, I understand our show has had to sacrifice many things and has been forced to take tremendous amounts of cutbacks, which have greatly altered the way we operate. But to clear the air about the other rumor, my leaving has nothing to do with the current status of the show or my current limited amount of airtime. I realize people are disappointed in some decisions that are being made, but I beg you to look at it as I do: I am not in Ken or Gary Tomlin's shoes right now, understanding the pressures, demands, or logistics of our show and its' current budget. I know at times it can be frustrating to adapt to storylines you can't get into you, or see characters you love depart, but everything comes in ebs and flows. Just understand that everyone is doing their best and no one wants to see the show suffer in any way, nor do they want to "sabotage" it. It's hard to please everyone, and right now they are doing their best given all the variables and obstacles they've been thrown. It's also important to remember, not every character you love can be on air all the time. We still have a large cast in comparison to a lot of other shows, and its hard to work everyone equally all the time. Actors also go through ebbs and flows, hell- we need to rest every now and then too. I had for the most part, four full years of heavy, steady working on this show, and I feel as though I'm one of the lucky few who get to say that.
Anyway, there is one last thing I want to add in this post and it's to my fans at curemytragedy.com: I received the birthday gift you sent to me today and I have to say, I was speechless. It was way beyond sweet and generous, and... I cried-I'm such a girl! It's just sometimes you forget that there are still good people out there, showing random acts of kindness, even to complete strangers. It's hard to remember that when at times this world can seem so dark and lonely. Thank you all so much, and please look for a more formal thank you in an upcoming issue of Digest.
Also, thank you to the other amazing fans who individually sent birthday gifts to me at the studio as well. I did receive them, and they are all so special to me. You have no idea. In the upcoming weeks, once I get a break, I will be working on a formal thank you for you also.
It's been such a pleasure entertaining you all for these last four years. As of now I don't know when I'll be shooting my last episode, but I will definitely keep you posted. And I can promise there will be much more of me to come in my future endeavors.
Rachel
Sunday, February 1, 2009
New and Improved.
Over the last few months I've contemplated as to what I could possibly write to you guys about on my blog. The problem is, I find talking about work somewhat boring- now don't get me wrong, I love what I do. But that's exactly what I mean. My job as an actor is to portray life, investigate curiosities, and relate to the viewer in a way we all understand through experience. When you watch movies, they impact you because something you're watching is that of which you can relate to. It reminds us that we're all human, and we all go through the same struggles, disappointments, and happinesses in life, no matter what we do, where we live, or who we know. I find that writing about that kind of thing, is much more interesting and gratifying, than telling you my thoughts and opinions on what's going on behind the scenes of Days.
My "stix and stones" blog was the most fun for me to write because I felt it had a purpose. I didn't have to think about what would be interesting to read if I were you as a fan, or what I thought you all would be dying to know regarding the latest changes on our set. I just wrote. Because it's what I wanted to say and what I wanted people to know because it was my belief that that is what people REALLY needed to hear. That someone like me is just like them, experiencing similar struggles in life, but thought of differently because my job puts me on television. So what? That doesn't mean love or relationships come easy to me, or that I don't experience death, or that I don't understand the financial hardships of normal income families.
I feel a lot of times "celebrities" are made into icons and perceived to be this invincible force, immune to the hardships of the world. I've always felt this way- I can literally remember one time when I was ten and had food poisoning thinking, "I wonder if Tom Cruise or Nicole Kidman ever get diarrhea." I literally didn't know. It seemed impossible that anything could ever happen to them because they were depicted in such a way that implied they were completely different than the average person. As far as I was concerned, they were super heroes, like my mother, and we all know moms and super heroes never get ill.
Anyway, I've just been sitting here with a blinking cursor on my screen, knowing I owe you a blog, but having NO idea what to write about. I'm an honest person, and honestly, I just wanna write about what's bugging me about the world, or say or do something to make it better. To find out if people are going through my same struggles, or let them know they aren't alone in theirs. So I wanted to change my blogging format, and just start talking about different topics regarding human nature and real life. Of course sometimes that will entail my current employment with Days, but I just think there are so many other things that make for a more interesting read. So here goes. My first blog of the newly formatted blogs is just seconds away!
"HOLLYWOOD SCENE MEET RACHEL MELVIN"
So as I'm sure you've noticed, I haven't been working too much lately. So to fill the time in my schedule, I've taken to the "Hollywood Scene". This means going to the trendiest of clubs and hot spots in Los Angeles. The initial interest in the "Hollywood Scene" for me, came because most of my friends are now regulars on series, working ridiculous hours, and therefore too tired to hang out... or they have boyfriends-enough said. So I wanted to meet new people, maybe network a little within the industry, or possibly meet someone and try my hand at dating finally. Besides, everyone is always talking about how fun these clubs in Los Angeles are.
Now, I can't say I've ever been a big fan of the club scene in general. I'm almost 24and I've never gone through a "party stage" in my life- which I think I can credit to the fact I skipped out on the whole college thing, one of the few pros of not attending a University or frat party I suppose. But the idea of going to a club and drinking ridiculous amounts of alcohol has never seemed like an idea of a good time to me. Quite honestly I just don't see the point. I mean, I love dancing but since high school,that whole idea's been spoiled by random guys who rub up against your butt and think that it's a way to turn you on. I'd rather reside in the safe haven of a West Hollywood gay bar where they actually play great music, have great and interesting people, and know how to dance without insulting or demeaning a girl. But realizing that that might make it hard to meet a boy, and that it's Hollywood, and clubbing is the highest form of socializing out here, I sucked it up and gave it my best.....
...and I failed miserably. I mean, I really just don't get it. The whole experience to me is exhausting, disappointing, and highly overrated! I mean, you go out hoping to dance to some great music with your friends, make more friends in a lonely city and maybe meet a cute guy right? That simple. But here's what really ends up happening: you spend 45 minutes in traffic traveling only seven miles to get into Hollywood, pay way too much for parking, get trampled on and pushed into other people by drunken idiots, get burned by some one's neglected still- lit cigarette in their hand, get overcharged for alcohol that will just leave you feeling ill later, get liquid spilled on a cute dress you spent a lot of money on, freeze in the cold because you can only get in if you're dressed in "upscale club casual" per dress code, wait in line for the bathroom for three hours because some girl in one of the only two stalls wasn't aware of her liquor tolerance- after all she's only 19, and get inappropriately touched by someone who can actually get away with it because hey, it's Hollywood and just another night. I'm sorry... but that just isn't fun to me! What it is is a whole lot more work than I want to put forth on a Friday night when I'm supposed to be enjoying myself and maybe meeting the love of my life! haha
I mean, whatever happened to the good old days where guys actually and properly asked you to dance with them and it involved the tango or the waltz? Where THEY bought YOU a drink and complimented your dress instead of your bum?! When they asked for your number and actually put it to use, not as a place to put their used gum? Where they talked to you until the place closed, not until a girl with her tahtah's practically hanging out of her dress walks by and steals their attention?! I mean, these guys are rubbing their "stuff" all over you without them even knowing your name or having your consent. Sometimes I feel like I'm forty trapped in a twenty-something body. And it's more of a punishment than a luxury at this point. I mean, are there girls my age that actually find this kind of a night fun and worthwhile?
I'm the type of person that would much rather go to a bar with your girls where you can dance and sing like a fool to 80's music with other people you don't even know, and actually hear well enough to hold a decent conversation with someone that might appear somewhat interesting next to you. Going to clubs in Los Angeles is like living inside a lawnmower. You can't hear a thing, and people constantly cut down whatever or whoever is in their way, never minding a possible relationship that could exist -be that friend, business partner or PI.. (this is what I call boys I think I might like to date, it stands for potential interest...feel free to borrow it and try it on! haha). It's like within five seconds they decide what they want to do with or want from you, and if you indicate anything other than exactly what's on their agenda, they're on to the next person! I've never seen anything like it.
So I did it. I devoted a week of my life to participating in something I knew I hated and would hate, in the vein hope that it would grow on me and not be so bad. Goes to show you what you get when you go against your own instinct. Frostbite on your toes, gum in hair, the smell of smoke on a dress that now needs an early trip to the dry cleaners, and twenty dollars freely given to the valet who may or may not have ripped off change from your ashtray.
My point is this: I went against my instinct. Something as actors we are taught NEVER to do. I tried to be someone that I wasn't...without cameras rolling and a contract of course :) - and I was severely disappointed, mainly because my expectations were ironically too high but nonetheless. The guys made me feel like I was in a meat market, no one seemed to value any kind of conversation I attempted to make, no one laughed at my witty jokes, and I was left feeling a little insecure and a tad heartbroken. What was worse? I was faced with the realization that I wasted several nights of my life with people I really didn't care about, doing something I hated, letting people inadvertently making me feel horrible about myself! What a waste! And why did I do it? Because I thought it's what I should have been doing as a young actress in Hollywood to be considered "cool".
So here's the lesson I want you all to walk away from this with: respect everyone, but most importantly, respect yourself. Life is too short to spend denying yourself of your true thoughts and feelings in order to appear to be someone or something else for public approval. The truth is: No one really cares. They don't. Oh except one person: you. Don't disappoint yourself. So many other people will do enough of that for you. If clubbing isn't your thing, stay home and read. You'll find the real winners are doing that very thing right now ;)
P.S: .....all that being said I must say: On the very rare occasion you can find some really great people at a club. It's a VERY rare occasion, but it can happen. I mean, I was there at one point, I'm sure there are other people feeling out of their element also. You just gotta know how to play the odds I suppose.
My "stix and stones" blog was the most fun for me to write because I felt it had a purpose. I didn't have to think about what would be interesting to read if I were you as a fan, or what I thought you all would be dying to know regarding the latest changes on our set. I just wrote. Because it's what I wanted to say and what I wanted people to know because it was my belief that that is what people REALLY needed to hear. That someone like me is just like them, experiencing similar struggles in life, but thought of differently because my job puts me on television. So what? That doesn't mean love or relationships come easy to me, or that I don't experience death, or that I don't understand the financial hardships of normal income families.
I feel a lot of times "celebrities" are made into icons and perceived to be this invincible force, immune to the hardships of the world. I've always felt this way- I can literally remember one time when I was ten and had food poisoning thinking, "I wonder if Tom Cruise or Nicole Kidman ever get diarrhea." I literally didn't know. It seemed impossible that anything could ever happen to them because they were depicted in such a way that implied they were completely different than the average person. As far as I was concerned, they were super heroes, like my mother, and we all know moms and super heroes never get ill.
Anyway, I've just been sitting here with a blinking cursor on my screen, knowing I owe you a blog, but having NO idea what to write about. I'm an honest person, and honestly, I just wanna write about what's bugging me about the world, or say or do something to make it better. To find out if people are going through my same struggles, or let them know they aren't alone in theirs. So I wanted to change my blogging format, and just start talking about different topics regarding human nature and real life. Of course sometimes that will entail my current employment with Days, but I just think there are so many other things that make for a more interesting read. So here goes. My first blog of the newly formatted blogs is just seconds away!
"HOLLYWOOD SCENE MEET RACHEL MELVIN"
So as I'm sure you've noticed, I haven't been working too much lately. So to fill the time in my schedule, I've taken to the "Hollywood Scene". This means going to the trendiest of clubs and hot spots in Los Angeles. The initial interest in the "Hollywood Scene" for me, came because most of my friends are now regulars on series, working ridiculous hours, and therefore too tired to hang out... or they have boyfriends-enough said. So I wanted to meet new people, maybe network a little within the industry, or possibly meet someone and try my hand at dating finally. Besides, everyone is always talking about how fun these clubs in Los Angeles are.
Now, I can't say I've ever been a big fan of the club scene in general. I'm almost 24and I've never gone through a "party stage" in my life- which I think I can credit to the fact I skipped out on the whole college thing, one of the few pros of not attending a University or frat party I suppose. But the idea of going to a club and drinking ridiculous amounts of alcohol has never seemed like an idea of a good time to me. Quite honestly I just don't see the point. I mean, I love dancing but since high school,that whole idea's been spoiled by random guys who rub up against your butt and think that it's a way to turn you on. I'd rather reside in the safe haven of a West Hollywood gay bar where they actually play great music, have great and interesting people, and know how to dance without insulting or demeaning a girl. But realizing that that might make it hard to meet a boy, and that it's Hollywood, and clubbing is the highest form of socializing out here, I sucked it up and gave it my best.....
...and I failed miserably. I mean, I really just don't get it. The whole experience to me is exhausting, disappointing, and highly overrated! I mean, you go out hoping to dance to some great music with your friends, make more friends in a lonely city and maybe meet a cute guy right? That simple. But here's what really ends up happening: you spend 45 minutes in traffic traveling only seven miles to get into Hollywood, pay way too much for parking, get trampled on and pushed into other people by drunken idiots, get burned by some one's neglected still- lit cigarette in their hand, get overcharged for alcohol that will just leave you feeling ill later, get liquid spilled on a cute dress you spent a lot of money on, freeze in the cold because you can only get in if you're dressed in "upscale club casual" per dress code, wait in line for the bathroom for three hours because some girl in one of the only two stalls wasn't aware of her liquor tolerance- after all she's only 19, and get inappropriately touched by someone who can actually get away with it because hey, it's Hollywood and just another night. I'm sorry... but that just isn't fun to me! What it is is a whole lot more work than I want to put forth on a Friday night when I'm supposed to be enjoying myself and maybe meeting the love of my life! haha
I mean, whatever happened to the good old days where guys actually and properly asked you to dance with them and it involved the tango or the waltz? Where THEY bought YOU a drink and complimented your dress instead of your bum?! When they asked for your number and actually put it to use, not as a place to put their used gum? Where they talked to you until the place closed, not until a girl with her tahtah's practically hanging out of her dress walks by and steals their attention?! I mean, these guys are rubbing their "stuff" all over you without them even knowing your name or having your consent. Sometimes I feel like I'm forty trapped in a twenty-something body. And it's more of a punishment than a luxury at this point. I mean, are there girls my age that actually find this kind of a night fun and worthwhile?
I'm the type of person that would much rather go to a bar with your girls where you can dance and sing like a fool to 80's music with other people you don't even know, and actually hear well enough to hold a decent conversation with someone that might appear somewhat interesting next to you. Going to clubs in Los Angeles is like living inside a lawnmower. You can't hear a thing, and people constantly cut down whatever or whoever is in their way, never minding a possible relationship that could exist -be that friend, business partner or PI.. (this is what I call boys I think I might like to date, it stands for potential interest...feel free to borrow it and try it on! haha). It's like within five seconds they decide what they want to do with or want from you, and if you indicate anything other than exactly what's on their agenda, they're on to the next person! I've never seen anything like it.
So I did it. I devoted a week of my life to participating in something I knew I hated and would hate, in the vein hope that it would grow on me and not be so bad. Goes to show you what you get when you go against your own instinct. Frostbite on your toes, gum in hair, the smell of smoke on a dress that now needs an early trip to the dry cleaners, and twenty dollars freely given to the valet who may or may not have ripped off change from your ashtray.
My point is this: I went against my instinct. Something as actors we are taught NEVER to do. I tried to be someone that I wasn't...without cameras rolling and a contract of course :) - and I was severely disappointed, mainly because my expectations were ironically too high but nonetheless. The guys made me feel like I was in a meat market, no one seemed to value any kind of conversation I attempted to make, no one laughed at my witty jokes, and I was left feeling a little insecure and a tad heartbroken. What was worse? I was faced with the realization that I wasted several nights of my life with people I really didn't care about, doing something I hated, letting people inadvertently making me feel horrible about myself! What a waste! And why did I do it? Because I thought it's what I should have been doing as a young actress in Hollywood to be considered "cool".
So here's the lesson I want you all to walk away from this with: respect everyone, but most importantly, respect yourself. Life is too short to spend denying yourself of your true thoughts and feelings in order to appear to be someone or something else for public approval. The truth is: No one really cares. They don't. Oh except one person: you. Don't disappoint yourself. So many other people will do enough of that for you. If clubbing isn't your thing, stay home and read. You'll find the real winners are doing that very thing right now ;)
P.S: .....all that being said I must say: On the very rare occasion you can find some really great people at a club. It's a VERY rare occasion, but it can happen. I mean, I was there at one point, I'm sure there are other people feeling out of their element also. You just gotta know how to play the odds I suppose.
Monday, October 6, 2008
"Politics" is like OZ- it's always behind some curtain
Well, it's been a while since my last blog and while I wish I had a great excuse as to why I've been slacking, I must admit that I'm coming up empty handed. There's not a lot of interesting things to report in my life currently. Work is a little slower than I'd like, but as I always tell you all, "everything happens for a reason," and so I am hopeful and entrusting that this temporary drought is going to lead up to something big.
In the meantime, I am typing to you live this evening (or should I say early morning), from my new laptop that I purchased from Costco. While I must admit I HATE Costco on the weekends, it's a beautiful haven during the week, and I am quite satisfied with the purchase! :) With the amount of free time I am encountering, I figured it best to put it to use by doing other artistic endeavors I've otherwise had to postpone. One of my biggest being writing a book. So far, I've got thirty pages down, and I'm sure well over two hundred to go. While I've never been one to progress from barely five pages, I'm feeling pretty confident about the longevity of this particular story. While I wish I could divulge, I feel it necessary to wait until further progression...if not for nothing more than jixing myself.
I'm also enjoying living vicariously through some of my favorite characters that have just returned to my living room. Grey's is finally back, Gossip Girl, Desperate Housewives- those are among my favorite. It does sadden me however, that Weeds had its finale. I know this was almost three weeks ago, but it still pains me to think about. A whole 'nother year to go without Mary Louise Parker?! For those of you who don't know, she is one of my favorite actresses, and I must give Blake Berris the credit for bringing her into my life. He's totally at fault for my addiction to her and the show. Anne Hathaway is climbing up on my admiration list as well. I don't know who watches SNL, but she hosted last night and I found her quite interesting. I think anybody who can make fun of themselves for their mistakes on national television, must be a pretty cool person. It just makes them relateable, and that much more appealing.
So, since we're on the topic of SNL, and they're famous for mocking presidential candidates during the campaigns, I will use this as a segway into my topic regarding politics. (Sigh) While I know we're NEVER supposed to discuss this, rather than fear the topic at the possibility of argueing in disagreement, I'd rather learn from everyone's opinion in order to form my own more soundly. After all, isn't it better to make a decision based on the more information we have to make it with?
I have never been one to pay attention to politics, because it never seemed to be worth the headache, or big deal that everyone made it out to be. But somehow, something or someone (not sure which) pulled my attention toward all the fuss, and I found myself drawn to this beast of a topic! I watched the VP debate this past Thursday (right before I watched the Cubs choke during game two vs. the Dodgers...I later cried, but I digress...) and found myself disappointed that I had only decided to take interest and be proactive with the government and politics now. I've already missed the first Presidential debate, which is fine, but election day isn't too far off, and I feel like there's still so much I've missed or just don't know! My point in sharing this in my blog, is that I know a lot of people my age or younger, are bound to read this before an article regarding the election. Being that that may be the case, I wanted to speak to you all directly.
This is a lesson that I just learned, and while I believe I've learned it just shy of being too late, I felt it my civic duty to pass it on to you. We are the generation of the future, and people take of advantage of us because so many disregard politics thinking it doesn't concern or won't affect them. Even though politics are tricky and sneaky, they become sneakier when they know they have people not paying attention. It becomes easier for them to get away with more when and if our heads our turned. This is the reason so many actors and artists use their platforms to urge you to vote, because sadly, more of the younger generation(s) pay more attention to MTV than CNN. I was admittedly one of them. But I am telling you now, I wish I hadn't been. It is extremely important to vote and be a part of this nation's future and present. So if you haven't already registered, please DO IT NOW before it's too late. In addition, if you are already registered, I ask you one favor: please find out as much information as you can before you go to the polls with your final decision. DO NOT let your idols, celebrities, friends, or even parents, convince you to vote for someone just because they are!!! Get the facts and make your own, adult, educated, and independent decision!!
K, I'm climbing off my soap box now. The last thing I wanted to do before I wrap up, was say thank you to everyone. You are all amazing fans and you have no idea how much it means to me to know you're all in my corner. As you know, I frequent the message boards for ideas on how to improve my character or enhance things you all crave to see. Lately, my storyline has died down, (which is common for every actor on a soap-it does go in waves), but the outpour regarding the Daniel and Chelsea storyline has been overwhelming. All the fan letters, youtube videos, and small gifts and trinkets sent to the studio are amazingly appreciated and well received by both myself and Shawn Christian. We'd like to give a huge thank you to all the folks at cure my tragedy, and while I know some of you are reading this now, I ask if you could, please post a reply with an address or some form of contact where you can be reached. Shawn and I would like to extend our gratitude to you all in some way, but have been finding it difficult to retrieve the necessary information. In addition, I want to say thank you to the fans who have been saying the most kind things about myself and my acting on some posts that I have read. Your loyalty means the world and I sincerely appreciate it.
Finally, and I know I said that would be the last thing but I just remembered: DAYS is having a fan event at Universal Studio's City Walk in Universal City, CA, on November 1st. We sincerely hope you can make it, all are invited. If you'd like more information, it will be posted on my site later, or you can visit the DAYS website @ www.daysofourlives.com.
Hope you all have a great week! Until next time!
Rachel
In the meantime, I am typing to you live this evening (or should I say early morning), from my new laptop that I purchased from Costco. While I must admit I HATE Costco on the weekends, it's a beautiful haven during the week, and I am quite satisfied with the purchase! :) With the amount of free time I am encountering, I figured it best to put it to use by doing other artistic endeavors I've otherwise had to postpone. One of my biggest being writing a book. So far, I've got thirty pages down, and I'm sure well over two hundred to go. While I've never been one to progress from barely five pages, I'm feeling pretty confident about the longevity of this particular story. While I wish I could divulge, I feel it necessary to wait until further progression...if not for nothing more than jixing myself.
I'm also enjoying living vicariously through some of my favorite characters that have just returned to my living room. Grey's is finally back, Gossip Girl, Desperate Housewives- those are among my favorite. It does sadden me however, that Weeds had its finale. I know this was almost three weeks ago, but it still pains me to think about. A whole 'nother year to go without Mary Louise Parker?! For those of you who don't know, she is one of my favorite actresses, and I must give Blake Berris the credit for bringing her into my life. He's totally at fault for my addiction to her and the show. Anne Hathaway is climbing up on my admiration list as well. I don't know who watches SNL, but she hosted last night and I found her quite interesting. I think anybody who can make fun of themselves for their mistakes on national television, must be a pretty cool person. It just makes them relateable, and that much more appealing.
So, since we're on the topic of SNL, and they're famous for mocking presidential candidates during the campaigns, I will use this as a segway into my topic regarding politics. (Sigh) While I know we're NEVER supposed to discuss this, rather than fear the topic at the possibility of argueing in disagreement, I'd rather learn from everyone's opinion in order to form my own more soundly. After all, isn't it better to make a decision based on the more information we have to make it with?
I have never been one to pay attention to politics, because it never seemed to be worth the headache, or big deal that everyone made it out to be. But somehow, something or someone (not sure which) pulled my attention toward all the fuss, and I found myself drawn to this beast of a topic! I watched the VP debate this past Thursday (right before I watched the Cubs choke during game two vs. the Dodgers...I later cried, but I digress...) and found myself disappointed that I had only decided to take interest and be proactive with the government and politics now. I've already missed the first Presidential debate, which is fine, but election day isn't too far off, and I feel like there's still so much I've missed or just don't know! My point in sharing this in my blog, is that I know a lot of people my age or younger, are bound to read this before an article regarding the election. Being that that may be the case, I wanted to speak to you all directly.
This is a lesson that I just learned, and while I believe I've learned it just shy of being too late, I felt it my civic duty to pass it on to you. We are the generation of the future, and people take of advantage of us because so many disregard politics thinking it doesn't concern or won't affect them. Even though politics are tricky and sneaky, they become sneakier when they know they have people not paying attention. It becomes easier for them to get away with more when and if our heads our turned. This is the reason so many actors and artists use their platforms to urge you to vote, because sadly, more of the younger generation(s) pay more attention to MTV than CNN. I was admittedly one of them. But I am telling you now, I wish I hadn't been. It is extremely important to vote and be a part of this nation's future and present. So if you haven't already registered, please DO IT NOW before it's too late. In addition, if you are already registered, I ask you one favor: please find out as much information as you can before you go to the polls with your final decision. DO NOT let your idols, celebrities, friends, or even parents, convince you to vote for someone just because they are!!! Get the facts and make your own, adult, educated, and independent decision!!
K, I'm climbing off my soap box now. The last thing I wanted to do before I wrap up, was say thank you to everyone. You are all amazing fans and you have no idea how much it means to me to know you're all in my corner. As you know, I frequent the message boards for ideas on how to improve my character or enhance things you all crave to see. Lately, my storyline has died down, (which is common for every actor on a soap-it does go in waves), but the outpour regarding the Daniel and Chelsea storyline has been overwhelming. All the fan letters, youtube videos, and small gifts and trinkets sent to the studio are amazingly appreciated and well received by both myself and Shawn Christian. We'd like to give a huge thank you to all the folks at cure my tragedy, and while I know some of you are reading this now, I ask if you could, please post a reply with an address or some form of contact where you can be reached. Shawn and I would like to extend our gratitude to you all in some way, but have been finding it difficult to retrieve the necessary information. In addition, I want to say thank you to the fans who have been saying the most kind things about myself and my acting on some posts that I have read. Your loyalty means the world and I sincerely appreciate it.
Finally, and I know I said that would be the last thing but I just remembered: DAYS is having a fan event at Universal Studio's City Walk in Universal City, CA, on November 1st. We sincerely hope you can make it, all are invited. If you'd like more information, it will be posted on my site later, or you can visit the DAYS website @ www.daysofourlives.com.
Hope you all have a great week! Until next time!
Rachel
Saturday, August 23, 2008
"Stix" and Stones
So, I felt compelled to share this with all of you since it literally happened 5 minutes ago, and I haven't completely been able to process the actuality/reality of it. This is the kind of thing that only happens in movies...or to me.
I just went to the bank to deposit one of my paychecks. I like this bank; a few of the tellers watch the show, Darin banks here, he and I usually run into each other... overall my trips here are quite pleasant and somewhat fun. Not today. Today, a man briskly waltzed through the bank doors before me (didn't hold the door open, but I forgot chivalry is dead), and since there was no line, didn't bother to walk through the line dividers to get the front. I didn't care. It's Saturday and all I have today is dance class at 2- I'm in no rush. So I walked through the empty line dividers and took my place behind him. A shift in his body language suggested he might apologize for "cutting" me, which I had prepared my answer with a "no worries" since he walked through the bank doors before me anyway. Who cares, right? We're all going to be waited on at some point. Nope. He choses instead to say... "You know, you're really skinny, you should think about eating something. How much do you weight like 90?" I can't tell you how many, equally rude comments, flooded to my brain before I chose the politically correct, mature one to respond with. "I actually weigh 113. But thanks for assuming I don't eat, that's really nice of you to say to a complete stranger."...but oh what I could have said instead.
Now, here's the purpose of me writing this blog. Being on television or in any area of the entertainment business/medium, you're kind of under a microscope. You can't always react how you want because then it's blown out of proportion or your labeled as a kind of person you aren't. You can't act impulsively or respond impulsively to something, because you must first think of how it could be misinterpreted or negatively reflect you. Basically, every day you're forced to hold some type of emotion in- which as you might know, over time, can turn out to be a, not so good thing. As a result, I've reached my limit regarding the "skinny" thing, and felt I would share with you all my take on everyone else's take on "skinny" people.
Calling someone skinny, can be just as offensive as calling someone fat. This is lost on most of society however, because being skinny is considered, or thought, to be attractive or sexy. Here's the secret truth I'm going to share with you: Some people think thick is sexier than thin, and yeah, some people think vise versa. You cannot contour your body to make other people happy, only yourself. And some of you may know, your body won't even contour for you. We are built the way we are built, and you have to find it within yourself to own the way you look, accept it, and be proud of it.
Some of you may not know that I take pole dancing classes. The purpose of this class for me, was to gain better confidence in my body because it was my personal belief I was too skinny, and no matter how much I ate or how much I worked out, my frame would not and could not support a heavier build. Imagine how it feels to feel that way about yourself, then hear about it or read about it in the media or on message boards constantly. I'm not just speaking for myself, but for any entertainer, period. Even the worlds most beautiful and successful women are insecure about something, and to post or say rude things such as what that man said at the bank, is not only insensitive, but it's inconsiderate of someone's feelings.
I just felt I needed to put my voice out there in the world. I have been hearing comments regarding my size since I was in the first grade, FIRST GRADE, and even though I knew they were sometimes intended as a compliment, it was always initially hurtful to me. And while I am in a secure and confident place with how I feel about my body now, I know there are millions of girls and women out there who aren't. And unfortunately, there are millions of idiots out there that will think they can speak freely to strangers and voice their ignorant, rude opinions. So this blog is for women everywhere. I wanted to use this blog to tell you that no matter your shape or size, own it. You are beautiful. The grass is not always greener, and you will always be somebody's type. You must just love yourself first. Everyone deals with rude people, it's how you deal with them that makes you more beautiful in the eyes of yourself and others.
:)
I just went to the bank to deposit one of my paychecks. I like this bank; a few of the tellers watch the show, Darin banks here, he and I usually run into each other... overall my trips here are quite pleasant and somewhat fun. Not today. Today, a man briskly waltzed through the bank doors before me (didn't hold the door open, but I forgot chivalry is dead), and since there was no line, didn't bother to walk through the line dividers to get the front. I didn't care. It's Saturday and all I have today is dance class at 2- I'm in no rush. So I walked through the empty line dividers and took my place behind him. A shift in his body language suggested he might apologize for "cutting" me, which I had prepared my answer with a "no worries" since he walked through the bank doors before me anyway. Who cares, right? We're all going to be waited on at some point. Nope. He choses instead to say... "You know, you're really skinny, you should think about eating something. How much do you weight like 90?" I can't tell you how many, equally rude comments, flooded to my brain before I chose the politically correct, mature one to respond with. "I actually weigh 113. But thanks for assuming I don't eat, that's really nice of you to say to a complete stranger."...but oh what I could have said instead.
Now, here's the purpose of me writing this blog. Being on television or in any area of the entertainment business/medium, you're kind of under a microscope. You can't always react how you want because then it's blown out of proportion or your labeled as a kind of person you aren't. You can't act impulsively or respond impulsively to something, because you must first think of how it could be misinterpreted or negatively reflect you. Basically, every day you're forced to hold some type of emotion in- which as you might know, over time, can turn out to be a, not so good thing. As a result, I've reached my limit regarding the "skinny" thing, and felt I would share with you all my take on everyone else's take on "skinny" people.
Calling someone skinny, can be just as offensive as calling someone fat. This is lost on most of society however, because being skinny is considered, or thought, to be attractive or sexy. Here's the secret truth I'm going to share with you: Some people think thick is sexier than thin, and yeah, some people think vise versa. You cannot contour your body to make other people happy, only yourself. And some of you may know, your body won't even contour for you. We are built the way we are built, and you have to find it within yourself to own the way you look, accept it, and be proud of it.
Some of you may not know that I take pole dancing classes. The purpose of this class for me, was to gain better confidence in my body because it was my personal belief I was too skinny, and no matter how much I ate or how much I worked out, my frame would not and could not support a heavier build. Imagine how it feels to feel that way about yourself, then hear about it or read about it in the media or on message boards constantly. I'm not just speaking for myself, but for any entertainer, period. Even the worlds most beautiful and successful women are insecure about something, and to post or say rude things such as what that man said at the bank, is not only insensitive, but it's inconsiderate of someone's feelings.
I just felt I needed to put my voice out there in the world. I have been hearing comments regarding my size since I was in the first grade, FIRST GRADE, and even though I knew they were sometimes intended as a compliment, it was always initially hurtful to me. And while I am in a secure and confident place with how I feel about my body now, I know there are millions of girls and women out there who aren't. And unfortunately, there are millions of idiots out there that will think they can speak freely to strangers and voice their ignorant, rude opinions. So this blog is for women everywhere. I wanted to use this blog to tell you that no matter your shape or size, own it. You are beautiful. The grass is not always greener, and you will always be somebody's type. You must just love yourself first. Everyone deals with rude people, it's how you deal with them that makes you more beautiful in the eyes of yourself and others.
:)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
